Ultimate Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Groan, Gasp, and Giggle

Let’s face it — dad jokes are the low-hanging fruit of comedy, and we’re here to shake the tree till it’s pun-nado season.

They’re punny. They’re predictable. They’re practically a love language passed down through generations of cargo shorts and backyard barbecues.

So buckle up, kiddo. It’s about to get punbearable.

Grillin’ and Killin’ With These Jokes

—Straight from the Dad Joke Hall of Fame—

1. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
3. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. I’m afraid for the calendar — its days are numbered.
6. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
7. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
8. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
9. I asked my dog, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
10. I only eat snacks on days that end in “y.”
11. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
12. I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, “But Dad, your name is Brian.”
13. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
14. The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
15. I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean.
16. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
17. I’m on a seafood diet — I see food and I eat it.
18. Wanna hear a roof joke? Never mind, it’s over your head.
19. Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
20. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Dad Jokes for the Modern World

—Because even WiFi dads deserve punchlines—

1. My phone autocorrects “lol” to “I’m not mad, just disappointed.”
2. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
3. I tried to take a selfie with my coffee… but it was too latte.
4. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
5. My smartwatch keeps telling me to stand. I’m in bed, Susan.
6. Why did the web developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
7. I don’t tell dad jokes. I perform them.
8. I just changed my password to “incorrect.” So when I forget it, my computer reminds me: “Your password is incorrect.”
9. What did the dad say to his kid coding HTML? “Keep it in the .”
10. I asked Alexa to tell me a joke. She said, “I think you’ve got that covered.”

The Eye-Roll Meter Is Off the Charts

Dad jokes are cheesy, predictable, and totally shameless — but we love them anyway. They remind us not to take life too seriously and prove that a groan is just a laugh in denial.

So, keep those punchlines coming. Wear your sandals with socks proudly. And if someone rolls their eyes? That’s how you know you nailed it.